Imposter Syndrome & your dreams...

Honestly, fuck that bitch (that bitch, being imposter syndrome lol)

Jul 09, 2023

Hiiii, it’s me! I know…

I’ve been MIA, living (and loving) life here in LA. If you’re new here, welcome, but to catch you up, I moved to LA last September to start a new chapter of my life after leaving a five year relationship. I’ve been here almost 8 months and have really been enjoying myself and honestly, it’s been one of the best decisions, especially in this chapter I’m in right now…single, working for myself and in my (gasp) mid thirties. Hey 35! Lol

Anyway, I was scrolling through IG not too long ago and someone posted this quote to their story and it hit me like a ton of bricks (below)…

“Stop ignoring when your talent has been validated in multiple spaces. It’s not a gimmick, it’s not luck, it’s not a once in a lifetime occurrence. You are GOOD at this thing, the proof is there. Accept it and act accordingly.”

Let me tell you why it hit me so hard. My imposter syndrome/anxiety has been in fucking overdrive lately because my manifestations, prayers are happening and to be honest…I’m fucking scared and that’s when the imposter syndrome kicks in overdrive.

A little backstory, obviously…

For the last three years, I’ve started having a word of the year. It’s almost like a way for me to manifest/pray what I want my year to be. Call me ‘woo woo’ but I truly believe by setting these intentions for myself, they actually manifest and happen…again, call me ‘woo woo’ lol.

2021 was passion, 2022 was purpose and 2023 is elevate and I truly believe it is happening for me and it’s fucking scary. It’s almost like, my inner voice that is imposter syndrome is like…

“Do you actually deserve this?
“Can you do this?
“Why you!?

Like even love, to compare this feeling if you don’t get it and maybe it’s easier to explain because we all want love at the end of the day, right?

Me & my best friend Taylor have had this convo a lot where she’s said about her now husband early in their dating, “Love was right in front of my face and I was so scared to fully embrace it”. I mean look at her now lol…she’s happily married and crazy in love!

It’s almost like, you can almost grasp it but completely terrified. I mean I didn’t quit my fucking 10 year career in marketing for nothing right!?

I was having a hard time expressing it, until I had therapy not too long ago and I said “My imposter syndrome is at an all time high right now.” My therapist proceeded to be, well, a therapist lol and get me to the point of expressing my inner thoughts and I broke down in tears and said “I’m scared”. She then had me write down affirmations to recite to myself to bring me back down to center whenever my imposter syndrome/anxiety kicked in…

Don’t get me wrong, I’m walking in my fucking purpose of building a community through food and it truly makes my day when I get a DM like “I cooked this for my daughter/son/boyfriend or even myself and I’m just so proud of myself, it’s so good”...it goes without saying how much that means to me.

Putting yourself out there is no easy task. To be judged by basically everything and let’s never forget this comment (below) from Buzz Feed’s YouTube lol, let’s just say it’s not fucking easy lol…but yet, we push through!

One of the things I wrote down in my journal last year as it was approaching 2023…

I want to be at Essence this year

…and it’s happening (at this point happened) and I literally said to myself when I got the Essence email “what is happening?” lol Isn’t that fucking nuts!? Like questioning!

Now, being a former marketing girl, I’ve been to Essence I think 4 years in row doing activations with my old job Allied Moxy & Team Epiphany and this year I’m MYSELF as ‘Just Add Hot Sauce’…I mean, what the entire fuck lol. I also have something I truly can’t wait to share with you guys that I’m bursting with joy but not yet!

I say all of this to say, with all the f words within it because hey, that’s me…

Dream beyond your wildest dreams
Be fucking delusional in what you want
Do the work
Ask for help (I’m still getting better with that)
Imposter syndrome is going to kick in and we say “Bitch! RELAX! Let’s go on the wild ride!”
Do it fucking scared
Have an amazing support system ( I could cry about my friends & obviously, my mom)
Oh…and go on all the dates & kiss all the boys because love will come (I’m still beyond hopeful & having tons of fun)

As my best friend Loni says (who just had an epic wedding last month in our hometown)....THE BEST IS YET TO COME