The Universe & A Leap of Faith

sidenote: this is a little long

I decided to quit my job. Well, I actually quit my job on April 15th. 

Believe me, it was a hard af decision. I grew up being told, “graduate from school, get a good job, start a 401K, eventually buy a house and stay at that job for the next 30 years.” I can’t blame my parents...at all. My dad is 72 and my Mom is 69, they come from the old school generation and some parts of me are old school. Listen, they gave me a life beyond their wildest dreams and I’m so grateful to them for that.  

Last year, I thank the pandemic, well quarantine for letting me be still and question everything in my life. My good friend and ‘what is life?’ confidant, Smash (that’s her nickname lol) said to me one day over drinks “it’s good that you are questioning things.” 

• What do I want to do?

• What makes me happy?

• What life do I want to live?

All questions like that, I had to dig super deep. It was and still is uncomfortable...and my Taurus ass likes comfort and no change lol. See there was nothing essentially wrong with my job. For me, my passion was somewhere else.

Brief story...

Food & cooking never left me, I just took a brief detour. 

I graduated from Hampton in 2010, majored in Public Relations with a minor in Marketing and moved to NYC in 2011 with less than a dollar & a dream to work in PR.

My first big break or so I thought lol. I worked as a PR intern for this dreadful woman who will remain nameless and she then hired me as her PR assistant/personal assistant and paid me...get this, $300 a fucking week. I could barely afford life. It was insane knowing how I survived off that, living with my aunt in Washington Heights but LET ME TELL YOU, I livedddddd and it was a great fucking time being 23 in NYC!

Back to this woman, she was absolutely awful and yelled ALL THE TIME. She would text me at all times of night and I was barely learning anything about PR. One time, she took me to a business meeting at SoHo House (I was dying inside lol) and she got so upset at me because the client was talking more to me/semi flirting with me…I was like huh!? How is this MY issue!? She would make me get her a Venti Soy White Mocha, two splendas, no whip latte every fucking day. I spit in her coffee once before I gave it to her because she was SO AWFUL! 10/10 recommend LOL...yes, I said it. 

Anyway, I quit after she made me move her entire office while her and her daughter vacationed in Jamaica. She later emailed me saying she was going to promote me...OK, girl! Sure lol.

Soon after my big sister Janell who was doing the damn thing in the editorial world, got me a gig at another PR firm, freelancing as a PR Manager. Let me tell you, I had no fucking clue what I was doing. I was barely a PR assistant but I wanted to learn! The owner of the company had me do a PR timeline for a client (again, I had no experience). It took me ALL DAY to do that timeline. She fired me that day lol. I said look girl, I get it. I need to learn! 

Someone give me a got damn chance! Lol

After that, I started at another PR company which was equally as awful as the first but I was learning. Anxiety driven job but learning A TON! Me and the other PR assistants would stay at work so late every month to do client updates for the CEO that we would barely be home for 3 hours to then wake up and go right back to work! It was kind of thrilling but not a healthy work environment. I left that job because I had a major panic attack in the product closet one day doing a seeding kit...it was not good. I fell into a slight depression after that because I was jobless with no experience, feeling like I couldn’t get a job and I was also dating (barely dating) this dreadful guy - whew, growth!

Anyway, I finally landed a job where I was doing multicultural marketing for TV & Film in 2012. That’s when the word “multicultural” started to pop off. I loved it. Of course, it had its ups and downs but I was flourishing babyyyyy! An amazing & supportive boss, coworkers that turned into life long friends and so many great projects. I stayed at the job for 6.5 years. 

The entire six years, I was still cooking. For my roommates, for myself, for whatever. The entire time I was going back and forth of enrolling in culinary school. I even dragged my very good friend & roommate Kelli, to an open house. I left so excited about enrolling but every time I got to the payment, I couldn’t fathom taking $40k out in loans. Let’s just say this, I would’ve been knee deep in loans between culinary school & undergrad. My mom so desperately wanted to give me the money but she was about to retire. I couldn’t do that to her.

So, I delved even more into my passion and got soooo many cookbooks, watched food network all the fucking time, and just cooked! Trial and error y’all...that’s what cooking is!

I started my food blog in 2017 because it was something just for me and I wanted to share my passion with the world. That same year, I met my partner, my boo thang who is an entrepreneur (and one in every right, his first business was selling homemade bracelets to his friends when he was 9). A little about me - I fully believe in timing and the universe. I truly, truly believe I met him for a reason because of the season I was in. I was feeling stuck, I was still at that job trying to find another job because that’s what you’re taught. He inspired me to start my blog, because he will literally start anything he thinks of, even if it fails at least he did it. I on the other hand was not at all like that lol. I was plagued with fear and perfectionism but I started JAHS! A big whoopty whoop for me! 

The biggest thing I have learned from him and this amazing book, BIG MAGIC -  is to keep going, no matter what. He’s failed at things but he keeps going and I don’t think we should always brush the failures so quickly under the rug because it’s how we get through them that matters. I on the other hand, a person who lives in her head a lot..stops because of fear. HOWEVER, I have decided I am choosing to no longer do that!

Food & cooking is what I've always stuck to. I fucking love it. 

No, I did not go to culinary school and I’m OK with that (some days lol). Working through imposter syndrome is a daily thing, OK! This is my passion and how I show love! I saw through the pandemic that I’ve been helping people through food! Still love and can’t get over people cooking my recipes! 

Anyway, me quitting my job lol...

Back to this universe thing. I started at TE  in 2018. It was my dream job, literally. Ever since I moved to New York, I wanted to work there. It was THEE agency. Black and Asian run by a husband and wife duo...AKA entrepreneurs, do you see where I’m going here? Little did they know they were also inspiring me to take this leap too. My VP who hired me & who I worked under was a Black woman, an HBCU grad and who I respected a lot. A working mom, the coolest and realest person you will ever meet. I always wanted to be in experiential marketing and they were the best at it. I traveled, executed bomb ass projects and honestly had a great time at work. I have coworkers that turned into friends that I will have forever, met soooo many great people and worked with SO MANY talented creatives that I know will help design my future restaurant/cafe. 

I realize the universe put me there for a reason.

I knew I had to take this leap of faith and dive into my passion fully, whatever it leads me to. Don’t get me wrong, I changed my mind EVERY SINGLE DAY for months. Thank GOD for my therapist cuz ya girl was STRESSED! 

I never quit a job, a stable fucking paycheck to choose let’s say...happiness & passion lol. I am choosing a life that I want to live. That’s what quarantine/the pandemic taught me that life is too fucking short and when all the hustle and bustle stops...what is your life? How are you living a happy & authentic life? Are you happy? All a dat...

Side note: this quitting thing was very thought out and I’m not a spur of the moment person (only when it comes to fun lol). Ya girl is a planner! I got to my savings goal, one that was comfortable for me. I consulted with my partner because we’re in this love & life thing together and I didn’t tell my mom until the day I quit my job lol. The night before I quit, I cried...like real ugly, lip quivering tears. I needed to. I didn’t call anyone, I had to sit in it for a second - like, is this the right choice? I was absolutely terrified but I knew when I woke up, it was the right decision. To my surprise, when I called my Mom to tell her I quit she told me her heart didn't sink at the news because she knows I’m following my passion. 

REAL FUCKING TEARS! Her support was really the only one I cared about. See a text she sent me below. 

Oh, I also booked a one way ticket to Mexico (Playa De Carmen/Tulum) because again, the universe. I met a lifelong friend, Alberto, from an AirBnB experience cooking class in pre-pandemic 2020 and he changed my life. I also wrote in my journal for 2021 “moving” and this is my move. It’s not permanent but I’ll be there for a month-ish diving into their culinary world with Alberto (more on that much later). I’m having an Eat Pray Love & more Eating moment. 

My passion is food and showing people how cooking is love and I can’t fucking wait to experience what this journey is. There’s lots of inspiration & ideas in my head, that I pray (and with hard work) will come to fruition but until then...I will enjoy this journey , while probably crying a lot and soak every little bit in. 

Welcome to my second life! 

Xo, Alex 

Photo cred: Michael Grant