I love this post for so many reasons. The vulnerability, the relatability the visibility of where many of us black women are currently in life. Those who have constantly been safe places for others but feel like we do not always have that for ourselves. Strong people need PEOPLE, safe spaces and support. This reminds me to lean into me a little bit more and make sure that my cups are filled and over flowing. Sending you love! Xoxoxox
As someone who feels like they’re navigating a season of rejection I deeply appreciate you sharing this. A reminder that rejection is truly protection and God’s redirection. The emotional loneliness you’re experiencing is something that is nuanced and something many high functioning Black Women don’t even realize yet verbalize! It’s gorgeous to read how you’ve identified that you require a soft place to land that you’re also willing to be that safe space for little Alex! Unlearning survival and choosing to live your dreams is a sovereign decision. I find that sovereignty is a major repellant and cheat code in the dating pool! When you think about all the inner work you’ve committed to, please remember most people couldn’t live one day in your life! This reveals two things, you’re not regular and most people don’t want to do inner work. It is hard and it’s much easier to delude oneself into thinking survival is success.
I was single for six years and on the apps for 3 years, the emotional loneliness was my compass through it all. Men especially, are emotionally lonely and have no idea! Explicitly talking about it during a first date easily weeded folks out. Last November, I was blessed with my safe space to land.
The way he cares for himself and me is the personification my prayers! He also happens to be a chef which blew me away. Alex, your vulnerability and sovereignty is a super power. The feelings are a reminder that you’re human, alive and deserving of a safe place to land. However, regular things and people will always be repelled from you!
Tysm for this. I had one of those days yesterday and have experienced so much of what you’ve shared here. I literally had to take a MHD yesterday because I too don’t have a soft landing in a safe partner. Where a tight hug and/or someone else to take the trash out/bring home/make dinner would’ve been the restorative energy I needed to keep up; instead I required a full day off from work and realized yesterday that there are real soft and hard costs to that absence.
I’ve been trying to find ways to temper my writing on the subject even, because I don’t want to seem ungrateful for all I have but the weight of carrying the world and building your own is often overwhelming and exhausting beyond what anyone should have to carry alone.
Can’t wait to give you and little Alex a big ol hug tomorrow. This was a BEAUTIFUL read, sister! Thank you for sharing something so personal and yet so universal! ❤️
Thank you so much for sharing this bc I feel the same way and have been experiencing some sadness surrounding it all. I’ve noticed that some people find it hard to hold space for single women bc they may have already obtained what we are searching for. That gets tough bc sometimes I don’t want to be strong. I would very much like that hug and soft landing please! So you are not alone! You are seen! Sending lots of love. ❤️❤️
So beautiful and so incredibly heartfelt. You are absolutely not alone, I'm right there with you (actually froze my eggs the week after you did yours!). Thank you for the vulnerability and for saying the words that so many of us keep in our heads as we navigate through life.
Thanks for sharing Alex. Eldest daughter as well and while I am single, just not currently dating… those same feelings still hit. You are not alone 🫶🏾
🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍
As you had your instant tears during your therapy session, reading this brought on instant tears for me. Thank you for your vulnerability.
🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍 always
I love this post for so many reasons. The vulnerability, the relatability the visibility of where many of us black women are currently in life. Those who have constantly been safe places for others but feel like we do not always have that for ourselves. Strong people need PEOPLE, safe spaces and support. This reminds me to lean into me a little bit more and make sure that my cups are filled and over flowing. Sending you love! Xoxoxox
Thank you so so much 🤍🤍🤍
As someone who feels like they’re navigating a season of rejection I deeply appreciate you sharing this. A reminder that rejection is truly protection and God’s redirection. The emotional loneliness you’re experiencing is something that is nuanced and something many high functioning Black Women don’t even realize yet verbalize! It’s gorgeous to read how you’ve identified that you require a soft place to land that you’re also willing to be that safe space for little Alex! Unlearning survival and choosing to live your dreams is a sovereign decision. I find that sovereignty is a major repellant and cheat code in the dating pool! When you think about all the inner work you’ve committed to, please remember most people couldn’t live one day in your life! This reveals two things, you’re not regular and most people don’t want to do inner work. It is hard and it’s much easier to delude oneself into thinking survival is success.
I was single for six years and on the apps for 3 years, the emotional loneliness was my compass through it all. Men especially, are emotionally lonely and have no idea! Explicitly talking about it during a first date easily weeded folks out. Last November, I was blessed with my safe space to land.
The way he cares for himself and me is the personification my prayers! He also happens to be a chef which blew me away. Alex, your vulnerability and sovereignty is a super power. The feelings are a reminder that you’re human, alive and deserving of a safe place to land. However, regular things and people will always be repelled from you!
Thank you so much for this 🤍
🫶🏾🫶🏾🫶🏾
Dear Alex,
Tysm for this. I had one of those days yesterday and have experienced so much of what you’ve shared here. I literally had to take a MHD yesterday because I too don’t have a soft landing in a safe partner. Where a tight hug and/or someone else to take the trash out/bring home/make dinner would’ve been the restorative energy I needed to keep up; instead I required a full day off from work and realized yesterday that there are real soft and hard costs to that absence.
I’ve been trying to find ways to temper my writing on the subject even, because I don’t want to seem ungrateful for all I have but the weight of carrying the world and building your own is often overwhelming and exhausting beyond what anyone should have to carry alone.
thank you so much for this. I pray a soft landing finds you & lifts some weight of you. I understand completely.
I'm reading this post as a new subscriber, and I'm so grateful for your vulnerability. Sending you lots of light & love! ✨️
Thank you so much 🥹 and welcome!
such a beautiful read thanks for pouring out and letting that weight off. It's a reminder to us all, that we are never alone.
Never alone! 🫶🏾🫶🏾🫶🏾
may you and all BW get what you deserve <3
Amen 💕
Now I'm crying... May the soft landing find you to give you all you desire. 🩷
absolutely!
Thank you for sharing ((hug))
*virtual hugs!
"Warriors need protection, too." OOOOOF, yes.
I felt that oooof!! because yes!
Sending you love Alex✨thank you sharing && praying that soft space to land comes sooner than later♥️
THANK YOU!!
Can’t wait to give you and little Alex a big ol hug tomorrow. This was a BEAUTIFUL read, sister! Thank you for sharing something so personal and yet so universal! ❤️
loveeeee you!!!
Thank you so much for sharing this bc I feel the same way and have been experiencing some sadness surrounding it all. I’ve noticed that some people find it hard to hold space for single women bc they may have already obtained what we are searching for. That gets tough bc sometimes I don’t want to be strong. I would very much like that hug and soft landing please! So you are not alone! You are seen! Sending lots of love. ❤️❤️
💕💕💕 thank you!!!!
So beautiful and so incredibly heartfelt. You are absolutely not alone, I'm right there with you (actually froze my eggs the week after you did yours!). Thank you for the vulnerability and for saying the words that so many of us keep in our heads as we navigate through life.
thank you for this! 💕
Thank you for this Alex. Your vulnerability is a sign of your strength, and recognising that you need to receive as well as give is super important.
Our experiences are very different, and yet your words touch me and inspire me across cultures and oceans.
I'm so grateful for your words and for being witness to your journey to yourself.
💜
Thank you so much for this!!!